The Very Worst Movies of the 90s

I know, this is a departure from what my usual. While the 90s was amazing (see pretty much every other article on this site for reference), I do know that not absolutely everything about the 90s was great. Case in point, while there are some truly classic movies that came out in the 90s, there are also some truly terrible movies. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today. In a list compiled from votes on Riff Trax, they discuss the most terrible movies of the 90s?

20. Speed 2: Cruise Control (2,944 votes)

Surprisingly, the dumbest movie of the entire decade made for an even dumber sequel. But what ultimately makes this a failure is the choice not to bring back Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as an annoying tourist.

19. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (3,404 votes)

Not even the overpowering screen presence of Paige Turco could save this from being the biggest disappointment of 1993, next to the fact that Tag Team was unable to top the magic of “Whoomp! (There It Is)”.

18. The Island of Dr. Moreau (3,496 votes)

A huge, insane, nonsense-sputtering Marlon Brando lives by himself on an island attempting to create a human/animal hybrid. Oh, and also, Marlon Brando is in the movie The Island of Dr. Moreau.

17. The Blair Witch Project (4,347 votes)

This project, which thank God received no federal tax dollars, focuses on a carefree and creative witch who enjoys making crafts from locally sourced found objects. Three supernaturally annoying twenty-somethings set out on a mission to torment her, for some reason, and to attempt the world record at shouting the word “Josh!”

16. Anaconda (4,945 votes)

A documentary crew in the Amazon is menaced by a huge, dead-eyed monster. It’s Jon Voight! Then later, a giant snake hunts them down. J-Lo and her super-buttocks save the day; Owen Wilson plays a man made horny by everything.

15. Highlander II: The Quickening (5,083 votes)

Producer A: “Highlander I was OK, but do you guys think it was incoherent enough?”

Producer B: “Hell no! Next one needs subplots about aliens and the ozone layer, plus a really dumb word like…”

Producer A: “…Like ‘The Quickening?’”

Producer B: “Booyah!”

There can be only one, damn it! That includes not just Highlanders but Highlander movies!

14: Spice World (5,428 votes)

A great movie because it catches the timeless and beloved musical legends The Spice Girls just as they were first starting out! Now here we are two decades later and they’re still going stronger than ever, so culturally, this film feels as fresh as a daisy! Zesty Spice, Hairy Spice, Stabby Spice and Old Spice, we still love ya!

13. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (5,796 votes)

This is a krazy-bad movie and I kan’t komprehend its plot. So if I kan borrow this kapsulization from Wikipedia: “The evil emperor Shao Kahn opens a portal from Outworld to the Earthrealm and has reclaimed his queen Sindel, who is Kitana’s long-dead mother. Earthrealm is therefore in danger of being absorbed into Outworld within six days, a fate which Liu Kang and the others must fight to prevent…” Konfounding krap! Kurse it!

12. Street Fighter (6,371 votes)

A movie based off the popular video game, it is mainly known as the inspiration for the unpopular video game Street Fighter: The Movie. Many fans objected that it did not stay true the the spirit of the video game, namely, that it did not include that guy in the background of Chun Li’s level who is strangling a chicken.

11. Showgirls (6,785 votes)

If you were a betting man, you’d have been pretty confident laying down your life savings that this moment would be the low point of Elizabeth Berkley’s acting career. But somewhere in between the moment she humped Agent Cooper in a pool and licked a stripper pole, her Hot Sundae histrionics fell by the wayside. Showgirls truly puts the “NO!!!” in “Jesse Spano.”

10. Waterworld (7,015 votes)

Due to the hubris of its arrogant star, Waterworld came in with an absurdly high budget of 172 million dollars, good enough to place it at number 56 on the all time list right between Evan Almighty and Snow White and the Huntsman. And evidently it earned 264 million dollars, a healthy profit of nearly a hundred million. Why was this such a big deal again?

9. Cool as Ice (7,429 votes)

The Yep Yep heard round the world. Robert Van Winkle delivers one of the finest roni havings in cinema history. Stop, collaborate, and listen to the RiffTrax version of it if you must watch.

8. Bio-Dome (7,889 votes)

Pauly Shore and a Baldwin who was available at the time star as, essentially, Bill and Ted. They get locked in a biodome. It’s not really a dome. They get hurt a lot and have inexplicably patient and lovely girlfriends. It’s the kind of film Laurel and Hardy would have made if they had been talentless ass-hats.

7. Troll 2 (8,004 votes)

Without a doubt, the most critically acclaimed plant-eating goblin movie to be made in Utah in the nineties. And although the film is not about trolls but goblins, that’s simply because the name used for the town in the film, “Nilbog,” sounded better than the alternative, “2 Llort.” (Mike riffed this onewith the help of Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka!)

6. Kazaam (8,142 votes)

A young, troubled, delinquent Sunny D addict releases genie Shaquille O’Neal from a magic boombox. Shaq becomes a hip-hop superstar, and he and the kid rap their way through adventures and danger until Shaq becomes pure energy. No, I’m not just spouting random words after vaping a bud, this was a movie that was actually made.

5. Godzilla (8,324 votes)

New York is mildly inconvenienced by a mutant dinosaur that is able to change its size in the middle of a chase scene and steal with impunity from other, far better films. Matthew Broderick is rumored to have starred.

4. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (9,154 votes)

People didn’t like this movie? Huh, well that’s news to us. Podracin’ 4 life, baby!!!

3. Super Mario Bros. The Movie (11,086 votes)

You know all that stuff you love about Mario and the bright colorful world of the Mushroom Kingdom? Well if you want that, keep playing Mario games, because you’ll find none of it in this dreary, sludgy, Leguizamo-y mess. Actual quote from Bob Hoskins about this movie: “The worst thing I ever did.” (Does not apply to our riffed version.)

2. Battlefield Earth (20,654 votes)

Editorial Note: the blurb for Battlefield Earth has been redacted, and those involved in writing it have been permanently corrected with stress tests and mind retraining. 

Batman and Robin (24,518 votes)

The list of complaints Batman fans had with this movie is long, and so is the list of complaints Robin fans had, probably, assuming Robin has fans. But ALL fans agree the #1 part of the Batman mythos they got wrong was leaving out The Wizard’s henchman, Gabe.

This post was originally published by Riff Trax.

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *